acceptivity

Acceptivity is an expressive artwork that plays with acceptance, openness, fear, insecurity, connectedness, wonder, and imagination. It is born from the question: what if even flowers, which we often assume so naturally know and embody being present in the world, also struggle with self-doubt, isolation, and ponder their own existential condition?

Exploring this question has been part of my own struggle with mental health, self-love, and nurturing my imaginative inner child. The question “Will you play with me?” is such a vulnerable question. It represents both loneliness and the courage of attempting connections. It represents a big shift toward self-acceptance, as well as the realization that we are not alone.

As an invented/re-born word, “acceptivity” blends several concepts that are important to me. First is “acceptance” — accepting and learning from what life presents to me as if I chose it, accepting help when I need it, and accepting all the qualities of each being I encounter (including my self), knowing we are all transforming and growing and doing our best. “Acceptivity” also combines this open, unconditional acceptance with creativity and activity—an interactive engagement that feels playful to me.

The swirly little bursts of lines in the image are from some painted expressions I created about the door and opening recently cut in my skull to remove a large (benign) brain tumor. Although I am still exploring this door in many ways, I found that transforming that serious, fearful experience into something playful is an important part of my healing process. In some ways, this door has helped me to release some of the inhibitions that previously prevented my own playful vitality. I hope that it also strengthens my ability to connect with others going through their own transformations.

As a concept, acceptivity feels like an invitation to the unknown; the start of a new unfolding.

“As a concept, acceptivity feels like an invitation to the unknown; the start of a new unfolding.”

This is a valuable lesson from my experience studying expressive arts in healing. I feel it in the way I am relating to all the many parts of my self. It is what I was feeling as I physically played with splattery watercolor paint, and then layered imagery and type to create the visual form.

Inventing the word “acceptivity” and this art piece represents the fun and imaginative spirit re-awakening—and reminding me to play—in all aspects of my life.

Acceptivity was created by combining my original paintings, photos, textures, and type in Adobe Photoshop.